Ritz Sandwich Crackers, Tow Trucks and 50 Shades of Menards.

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I don’t really know why certain things happen to me, they just do.  Maybe it’s because my quirky sense of humor can handle it so God sends these situations my way, and maybe it’s because I’m just as whacked as everyone else, who knows.

My weekend consisted of a little bit of work, lots of family time (aka drill sargeant husband and his list of cleaning duties will had to get done) and a good amount of shopping.

First off, Saturday I end up getting the bill for my unpaid parking tickets.  Yeah Bout that.  Not a good starter to 48 hours straight in the house with your husband.

Next came the task of dinner.  I had been planning this dinner for 3 days at this point.  Rosemary Citrus Roast Chicken with Parmesan Roasted Potatoes.  Oh the joy of the smell of potatoes and Chicken roasting.  They looked amazing.  So, after approx an hour, I checked and the juices were clear.  Took the bird from the oven, covered it and let it rest while the potatoes finished.

BLOG_RECIPE_Rosemary Chicken

Rosemary Citrus Roast Chicken

Now at this point, the baby was in bed.  We were having a late dinner and a movie at the house.  I’m all excited to get this Beautiful and CLEAN meal out to us and it happens.  Once slice near the thigh and BAM there is was. Uncooked Chicken.  Lord Save the Queen.  Of course, like any normal human being we panic like we’ve just poisoned the waterhole and start scrambling to save any and all livestock.  I start looking around the kitchen.  Right then left.  Left then Right. Then it dawns on me.  The oven is STILL on.  The Bird is STILL hot.  Just put it back in.  Ok.  The birds in the oven (disaster averted…kinda)

This is the point where the potatoes need to come out of the oven.  They look amazing. Then I realize that it will be quite awhile for the chicken still.  ugh.  so they go back in the oven as well.  We did finally eat.  45 mins later.  It still tasted good, nothing was burnt, but my pride was a bit bruised.

So the next morning, as I’m watching the final minutes of “Pitch Perfect” on HBO, we start making the list of things to do.  I get the kitchen organized and clean, then we take to the laundry and the Christmas Decorations.  So of course, I’m scanning Pinterest for ideas for the outdoor decorations for the house.  I am also in the process of slowly re-fabbing (aka Re-FABULOUS’ing) my downstairs bathroom and master bedroom.  So I take off for a night of shopping and crafting! yay!

BLOG_HOME_Jute LampOne of my stops is at Menards.  You know, the Midwests version of a Lowe’s Meets Home Depot meets Fleet Farm!  I need Jute Rope.  Thick Stuff so I can Wrap a pair of lamps I have so they look similar to this lamp I found on Pinterest.

I hop in the “6 Items or Less” line with my Jute Rope and Diet Coke and here comes this man and his cart with 6 Coleman Camp Stoves Propane Tanks, two large bags of ice melt and a gallon jug of Tampico.  He looks at me and straight faced says, “So ya gonna tie your man up tonight?”

Out of sheer shock, I blurt out the only thing that will come out of my mouth, “It’s for a lamp”.  I didn’t just say this, I shouted this.  The Cashier Jumped. Lord.

Fast forward to this morning.  My car is a pit.  Between carseat in, carseat out, trips here, trips there, you can find remnants of each trip.  It’s so bad.  So as I’m driving on this -7 degree day, I realise that my car is no longer accelerating.  OMG.  I push the gas and nothing. I can’t even hear a rev.  I’m Freaking out.  It looks as though my car is shut off.  ah!  I have a push start Altima and so I step on the brake and restart it…nothing.  So as I’m dialing a tow truck, since my husband at the time was on a plane to Houston, I come to a startling realization.  Hanging up  the phone as fast as I can to avoid a pickup followed by me faking a wrong number, I look down and there is a box of Ritz Cheese Sandwich Crackers jamming my gearshift into Neutral.

So if you ask how my weekend was, It was interesting.  I had a 70 year old man get all 50 shades of Jute rope on me at Menards and a box of Ritz almost cost me a $100 Tow Truck call and a ton of embarassment.

And…it’s only 2pm.

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