Let’s keep this simple:

Hamster Wheel:  Yup, that is my “healthy lifestyle”.  A Hamster wheel.  Stuck in a perpetual “Start over”.  I should maybe re-identify this part of my life as the blue screen of death…everytime I reboot my decision to get healthy and lose the weight, the Blue Screen of Death (Aka negative thoughts, feelings, eatings and bad daytime TV Shows) hits me BAM!  then…you got it . Restart.

Bug Bites:  Yup. This one’s pretty simple.  Might be a tick bite, might be an allergic reaction to a mosquito.  Might even be a spider bite.  The doctor doesn’t know, but I’m supposed to warm compress it and see what comes of it.  If Sigorney Weaver comes a knockin’, we’re all screwed.

Co-Pays:  To top off that little healthy nugget, T-bone has an ear infection.  Poor little man.  However, earache or not, he still rocked counting from 1 to 10 today.  Although, I don’t think he understood what it meant since he followed it up with “The End” and a whole bunch of gibberish.

I’m THAT neighbor:  Suburbia has grabbed me and pretty much slapped the shiz outta me with the Green Thumb Bug.  yup. The Green Thumb Bug. It exists.  Don’t deny it.  Some people choose a cactus in their bathroom, I chose a deck covered in pots with little seeds planted.  These shall be my new children.  Lettuce, Spinach, Arugula, Cilantro, Basil, Parsely and flowers.  They just started sprouting and I was so excited that I hadn’t killed them all off I shouted, “Look at all my children!!!” while my face was inches from some of the soil.  When I looked up, two of my neighbors were staring and started backing into their house.  Great. I’m THAT neighbor.