trainer

So Much to Catch Up On..Grab a Protein Shake.

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Alright seriously. Where do I even start?

Once Upon A time, on a February day in 2017, The Pretty Princess with a High Body Fat Percentage Met a dashing Prince.  His name was Brian.  He was Blonde, Blue-Eyed and probably talked more than she.  There was something about this Prince that was different.  He just seemed to GET that Pretty Princess.

Prince Brian reached for the Pretty Princess and said, “Come with Me if you want to live..diabetic Free”.  So the Pretty Princess with the High Body Fat Percentage did.  She did squats, deadlifts and skull crushers with Prince Brian and so began the not-so-fairytale known as…

KICKIN’ ASS & TAKIN’ NAMES

I’ve come to the conclusion, that trainers are like shoes..or boyfriends…not all of them them fit YOU.  It’s not just about skill set, it’s about schedule, personalities and camaraderie.  Brian is just that for me.  He’s super psyched about fitness, lifting and since he’s full time, he’s always got a spot for me.  I’ve started to use the Bodyspace App as well (https://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/) with the Kris Gethin’ 12 Week Program for my days without B-Man (as I affectionately call him)

This round of fitness has not only been productive by way of successful weigh-in’s, but more so about educating me on my body and how it really works, responds and grows.

I’m not looking for the scale to decrease.  I’m looking for my strength to increase, my Body Fat Percentage to Decrease and with that I know that the weight will follow suit.  It’s been a very different approach and so far, it’s been amazing.

Top PR’s Thus Far:

  • Hamstring Curl 200lbs (full sets)
  • Lat Pulldown  100lbs (full sets)
  • Reverse Grip Seated Pulldown 100lbs (full sets)
  • Quad/Leg Extension 125lbs (full sets)
  • Skull Crushers 45lbs (full sets)
  • Tri Pulldown (rope)  45lbs (full sets)
  • Bicep Curl (cable) 105 lbs (3 reps)

Babs’ Top 5 Fitness Observations this week:

  1.  Quiet Gyms are creepy.
    When the gym has ZERO overhead music, it’s creepy AF.  I’m all gruntin’ like an old man in the john after Thanksgiving Dinner, and that shit is echoing. Stop the damned Silence.  Let a Girl Grunt in peace and loud shitty Top 40 Music PLEASE.
  2. No Photos in the Locker Room.  
    Let’s be real.  We’re going to take our pics there.  That’s where we feel the pump. That’s where we feel the most fantastic.  And trust me. The last thing I need is anyone else’s cellulite in my pic.  If you see me takin’ a pic..don’t worry.  You’re NOT in it.
  3. No Child Left Behind….at the gym.
    Seriously.  I had a first hand experience where “trainers”…I will use this term lightly..one was wearing bedroom slipper for cripes sake….you know what..screw that…They are Officially FRAINERS..FAKE TRAINERS.  They are there with all these young kids IN the weights and they say..ok go.  wait what?This is where small mushroom clouds poof out my ears.

    These kids are told to do all these exercises…and THEY ARE DOING THEM WRONG.  Such bad form it’s making MY back hurt!  I bite my lip, til it bleeds, and pump out an extra set of angry skull crushers.  STOP the Insanity! Teach them the correct way from the beginning.

  4. I smell.
    Yup. I Smell.  And look disastrous.  And. I. LOVE. IT.  When I see pretty pretties on the elliptical texting their BFFs about the hot guy over there lifting the weight thingy’s…I want to walk over Slap the Phone outta their hands and scream..GET YOUR ASS TO WORK!But we all know this would just mean running mascara for them and a lawsuit for me.
  5. Nothing Tastes as Good As…
    ANYTHING after a big workout.  You could give me a SHOE and I’d EAT it after a big lift day.  I get why when you’re hoping for muscle gains, you’re eating enough to feed an entire hockey team.  BUT…it’s clean..because why would would I eat crap after a killer workout.  That would be like putting ketchup on a decadent chocolate cake.  Don’t do that. If you do, feel much shame.
  6. BONUS
    KT Tape is your Friend. Seriously.

 

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Chicken with Balsamic Tomatoes & Artichokes

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2013-12-30 19.54.01Alright. First off I’d like to thank the Academy.  Ok. Not really, but I would like to thank my mother for always making things from scratch.  After years of peering over the counter watching her chop veggies and try new recipes, I can officially say that I’ve inherited the kitchen bug.

I found a recipe similar to this one last night on Pinterest and totally forgot to actually pin it…what does this mean?  Well it means I’ll never find it again. It’s now lost in an abyss of recipes and handicrafts.  Thankfully, I read the recipe well a couple of times and had already done the shopping for it.  Now, it’s time to put my own twist on it.

The original recipe only called for around 5 ingredients:  Roma Tomatoes, Jarred Artichokes, Flour, Sugar and Chicken.  That’s it. yup.  It was a Clean Eating Recipe and well, I guess they didn’t realize that white flour and white granulated sugar are both no-no’s in the Clean Eating world.

I also am a HUGE fan of Fresh Herbs and food with a bit of a tang to it:  Insert Balsamic Vinegar.  Oh B-Vin you ol’ dog you!  You always know how to make a girl feel sophisticated.

I also forgot the temp on the oven and how long to cook it…so we winged it…and well..it worked!

My husband gladly ate his over angel hair pasta and said he liked it enough for me to make it again, but not enough to eat leftovers.  I still consider this a victory since my husbands idea of pantry staples are Manwich, Suddenly Salad, Frozen Pizza and Pierogies.

You can use any 9×13 cake pan or roaster…I have a Le Creuset 3qt Au Gratin that I used for this recipe.

If you are super new to cooking..don’t be afraid this is NOT a difficult recipe 🙂

Materials I used:

So I started out by cutting each Roma Tomato into 4, then coring them, then chopping them up from there.  I drained a small jar of Artichoke hearts and added them to the bowl.  This is where I start to get creative because the original recipe only called for two more ingredients, white flour and sugar. Nope Not using those.  So instead I add Balsamic Vinegar, Honey, Chopped Fresh Italian Flat Leaf Parsley, Chopped Fresh Basil, minced garlic, salt & pepper, grated Parmesan and whole wheat flour.  I generously Salted & Peppered my Chicken breasts and then popped it in the oven! BOOM that easy!

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I baked it, covered in tin foil, at 350 degrees until the chicken was almost done, then took off the foil, stirred it up a bit, basted the chicken, sprinkled on some Parm/Asiago mix and fresh parsley and popped it back into the oven until bubbly and the chicken/cheese mix was slightly browned.

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Served it over Quinoa for me and Angel hair pasta for my husband. it was delish 🙂

2013-12-30 20.12.06Chicken with Balsamic Tomatoes & Artichokes

Easy / Serves 4-6 depending on portions

      • 2.5 lb pack of boneless skinless chicken breasts (thawed/fresh)
      • 6-8 Ripe Roma Tomatoes
      • 1 small jar of Artichoke Hearts
      • 1 heaping TBL of Whole Wheat Flour
      • 1 clove garlic minced
      • 2 Tbl grated Parmesan Cheese
      • 2 Tbl to 1/4 c Shredded Parmesan, Asiago or blend Cheese
      • 1 tsp honey
      • 1-2 Tbl Balsamic Vinegar
      • 1/2 cup chopped fresh Flat Leaf Parsley (reserve 1/4c for end of baking & garnish)
      • 2-3 large Basil Leaves Chopped
      • Kosher Salt
      • Pepper
    1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
    2. Wash then Quarter, core and chop up Roma Tomatoes and put them in a large mixing bowl
    3. Drain and add Artichoke hearts to the bowl
    4. Add Garlic, 1/4 cup of the Parsley, Basil, Honey, Balsamic Vinegar, Grated parmesan cheese, Whole Wheat Flour and mix together.
    5. Pour into a greased baking dish
    6. wash and pat dry the Chicken breasts, then generously salt and pepper them.
    7. Arrange the chicken pieces on top of the tomato mixtures
    8. Cover with Foil and back until chicken is almost finished, approx 50 mins.
    9. Take the foil off, stir it up, baste the chicken and sprinkle shredded cheese onto chicken.
    10. Place back in oven and bake until bubbly and the chicken/cheese turns a golden brown.

Burpees or Boogers….I’ll take the boogers.

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I hate boogers. phlem. spit..gack!  They will make me barf in an instant.  But Burpees?  LOATHE them.  Once I had my son Timothy, it’s like ‘mama mode’ kicked in and developed a superhero like suit between the boogers and I.  On more than one occasion I have caught myself “grabbin’ a boogie”.  No kleenex. No nothing. Just my bare hand and a boogie. This is barbaric.  It’s almost like I can hear Braveheart screaming in the background “FREEEEEEDOM!” when I actually catch my son long enough to nab it.  THEN I grab a kleenex, because obviously I’m health code dyslexic, and dispose of the evil boogie.  I stand tall, hair flowing in the wind and think to myself, “Super Mom! Fighting Grime One Boogie at a Time!” then you almost hear a record scratch as Timothy puts my entire iPhone in his mouth and starts running with scissors. joy.

The moral of this long, dysfunctional tale, is that I overcame my gag reflex with boogies.  It was like a Christmas Miracle without annoying carolers and cocoa.  But Burpees? I hate them as much as Jumping Jacks.  You know the exercise that every fat person in the 80’s did in terrible grey sweatsuits where you could see every last ounce of their fat doing the cha-cha?   I know they make our cores tight and fantastic.  I know they help our Cardiovascular endurance.  I know that more than 15 in a row will make me barf.  But I don’t think that 10 Christmas Miracles in a row will make me like or even tolerate them.  So, I will go on, cursing my trainer (outloud) whilst hoisting my arse up and down doing these satanic exercises because I know that someday, I’ll hit my goal and I’ll never have to do them again.  Instead, I’ll smuggle wine into the gym and sip it while I watch another victim of the burpee have their will to live tested.

Reppin’ and Nappin’ (6am Workout / Day 1)

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So as I drug my tired ass self into the gym this morning at 6:04 for my 6:00 appointment, the first words out of my trainers mouth were, “Let’s get you on the scale”.  This is about the point I contemplated faking a ruptured appendix and fleeing.

I am not normally afraid of the scale, nor do I usually avoid it.  On a typical day, I will weigh myself multiple times just to see the crazy fluctuation that I will have in single day.  Neurotic? Maybe. However, I think it’s fun and I tell myself it’s for the better of science and mankind. I digress.

Of course, as I stood on the scale, sans shoes thank you very much, there it was staring me in the face:  Green Bean Casserole and Pumpkin Pie.

Now, before you go and freak out, no there wasn’t a single fatty carb in sight, just a big fat number that was 4 lbs higher than 1.5 weeks ago.  Shit just got real.

This is the point where my outgoing, fun bubbly self turns in to an ostrich with my head in the sand.  No eye contact here, just a slight shuffle of my feet and hushed mumblings of absurdities.  After a quick reality check with Ben, he looked at me, said “ok, let’s do this” and we went on to workout.

Not really sure if this early am workout thing is for me, I honestly fell asleep on the way home at a red light, then again in my car, parked in my garage.   Usually, even after early morning workouts, I’m totally pumped up, but today I was contemplating whether or not single arm rows had just given me mononucleosis.  Then I remembered they kicked not kissed my ass.